ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
