help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
