She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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