Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Drake has all the answers
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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