That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
