Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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