A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wish my penis had a tongue
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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