Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
