i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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