Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
