well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i believe in u and ur pee
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
