thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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