i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize