I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
