there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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