can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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