so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
