So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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