I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
