She announced her abortion via fbk
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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