I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
