i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
