My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
did i walk over a car last night?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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