I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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