wat bout pragnant strippers??
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
