sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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