I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
