Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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