Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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