So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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