we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
