the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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