Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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