but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If I had your ass I would rule the world
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
