No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
