absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I need help removing her.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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