Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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