I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
