is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I am one with the molecules
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
