I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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