I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
