piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
