i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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