She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
