i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
