I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
