Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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