Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
