I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
