are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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