i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
