Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
