Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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