I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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