AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
