im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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