I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
