Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
