You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I need water and some morals
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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