Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
