Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
