i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize