i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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