I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
