Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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