So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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