i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
